A failed experiment

Some six months ago, I started growing a beard or more correctly, stopped shaving. My beard is of a rebellious nature and does not grow uniformly. It is mostly white whereas the hair on my head is preponderantly black. When friends started telling me that I have put on an extra 10 years with the added facial hair, I let them in on a secret: I was growing a beard for precisely that reason. It was a social experiment that I was planning. The litmus test would be conducted during a ride in the Metro in any Indian city. In the past, no one offered me a seat although the signs clearly announce that some seats are reserved for senior citizens. I was sure I now looked the part – every bit a senior citizen with a flowing white beard.

With great hopes, I boarded the Bangalore Metro and manoeuvred through the milling crowd to a seat reserved for senior citizens. It was occupied by two strapping young men and I hovered expectantly right in front of them. But, they just gave me a brief glance and continued canoodling their phones. Disappointed, I looked up at the sign. The Metro authorities had changed it. They now invoke their patrons to offer the seat to:
the elderly, disabled, women with babies and pregnant women. The words were illustrated with a woman holding a baby, someone leaning on a stick, a disabled person with crutches, and a heavily pregnant woman! No mention of senior citizens.

My social experiment has failed. I will not tempt fate by wielding a walking stick; neither will I invest in a pair of crutches. I couldn’t get pregnant and even if I could borrow a baby, I wouldn’t qualify as a man carrying a baby doesn’t.

I must find a good barber.