Video bell

Are you a good liar? If not don’t buy a video doorbell. There is a reason for why I say this.

All of us live our lives by assessing the risks of actions we intend to take, whether it is crossing a road or choosing a life partner. When someone suggested I purchase a video doorbell, my first thought was: ‘that’s a great idea.’ However, when I started analysing future scenarios, I wasn’t too sure.

Mr Thief rings the bell. I am not home. In fact I am abroad.

“I have a parcel for you.”
“Ah! Please leave it with the neighbour.”
“Why don’t you open the door and take it?”
“I am not home.”
“I see. Maybe I can return tomorrow with the parcel?”
“No. I won’t be back tomorrow.”

The thief is now smacking his lips, hatching a plan. Time is his ally. He is looking around, gauging the doors, scanning for cameras, generally taking stock. He is momentarily distracted.

“When will you be back?”
“Two weeks Monday.”
“OK. Cool.”

Cool, indeed.

Some of you must be wondering, why I am giving away all the information to a stranger. The thing is, I don’t know what else to do. I find it hard to lie. Not because I am the paragon of Truth, but because I always get caught when I lie. So, for a long long time now, I haven’t lied to anyone. I am also very generous with information. If I don’t tell you every last detail, I somehow feel I am being devious, disingenuous.

Consider the same scenario. I am abroad but don’t want to disclose my whereabouts. I have a go at telling porkies.
‘Ring-Ring’. Mr Thief, carrying a package, is at my door.

“I have a parcel for you.”
“Please leave it with the neighbour.”
“Why don’t you take it yourself?”
“I am in the shower.”
“I will wait. It’s raining. Your parcel will get wet.”
“Nooo. Please leave it with the neighbour.”

Thief returns after 5 minutes.
“Your neighbour’s not home. Where are you?”
“In the shower.”
“ok, no worries, I’ll wait.”

“No no.”

“Sir, are you in your own shower or somewhere else?”
“Hmm … Aaaah … I am not home.”
“OK. I can come back tomorrow.”
“Nooo.”
“So, you are not back tomorrow?”
“Hmmm … aaahh …No. I am abroad. Back in two weeks.”
“Coool.”

I can’t lie.

I am, therefore, still considering if I should install a video doorbell. Will it convert me – an honest, straightforward man – into a devious, lying, crook?